Those quotes got me to remembering others:
"'Whom are you?' said he, for he had been to night school." --George Ade
"I did not say this meat was tough. I just said I didn't see the horse that usually stands outside." --W.C. Fields
"The reverse side also has a reverse side." --Japanese proverb
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." --Oscar Wilde
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." --last words of Pancho Villa
"Yes, country music." --last words of jazz drummer Buddy Rich, after a nurse asked if anything was bothering him
And from the Actual Headlines archive (or at least those I can remember right now):
WARRING FACTIONS DON'T AGREE
ACID RAIN LINKED TO EMISSIONS BY REAGAN'S AIDE
MOUNTIES CHARGE TRUDEAU'S EX-WIFE
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE
MAN GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
WOMEN SOUGHT FOR STATE POLICE
BREAST IMPLANTS SEIZED BY MARSHALLS
MISSOURI GAS CHAMBER IS UNSAFE
Finally, a few alleged court transcriptions:
"What is your date of birth?"
"July 10th."
"What year?"
"Every year."
"Mr. Gonzalez, can you read and write and understand the English language?"
"Si."
"You say you have expertise in physics. Please tell us what Newton's first law is."
(pause) "I don't believe I remember that."
"Who was Newton?"
"I believe he was the guy who came up with the first law."
"'Whom are you?' said he, for he had been to night school." --George Ade
"I did not say this meat was tough. I just said I didn't see the horse that usually stands outside." --W.C. Fields
"The reverse side also has a reverse side." --Japanese proverb
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." --Oscar Wilde
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." --last words of Pancho Villa
"Yes, country music." --last words of jazz drummer Buddy Rich, after a nurse asked if anything was bothering him
And from the Actual Headlines archive (or at least those I can remember right now):
WARRING FACTIONS DON'T AGREE
ACID RAIN LINKED TO EMISSIONS BY REAGAN'S AIDE
MOUNTIES CHARGE TRUDEAU'S EX-WIFE
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE
MAN GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
WOMEN SOUGHT FOR STATE POLICE
BREAST IMPLANTS SEIZED BY MARSHALLS
MISSOURI GAS CHAMBER IS UNSAFE
Finally, a few alleged court transcriptions:
"What is your date of birth?"
"July 10th."
"What year?"
"Every year."
"Mr. Gonzalez, can you read and write and understand the English language?"
"Si."
"You say you have expertise in physics. Please tell us what Newton's first law is."
(pause) "I don't believe I remember that."
"Who was Newton?"
"I believe he was the guy who came up with the first law."
