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A Prayer I will NEVER Pray Again

Started by RussCarroll, 05/18/2011 08:11AM
Posted 05/18/2011 08:11AM | Edited 05/18/2011 08:14AM Opening Post
I had complex open heart surgery about 16 months ago. My heart was pulled out of my body and re-tooled with 5 arterial bypasses. It's basically like getting a heart transplant with your own rebuilt heart, which lasted just over 8 hours.

Needless to say, there are a lot of painful parts of the recovery process at the hospital. They tell you when something is about to be done that will cause discomfort ahead of time. Medical people, particularly nurses, have a very difficult job, and I wanted to be a good patient for them. Before any treatment, I would silently pray "Lord, please help this to be pain free and tolerate this. Most of all, let me be a good patient and a blessing to . If that isn't possible, please let the pain be used to help me appreciate a little of what Jesus went through for us."

Procedure after procedure went without a hitch and very little discomfort. I even got a "That didn't hurt? Really??" on one occasion.

Then one night, I had a dream/hallucination/vision (your choice) of being dead in my room. Above myself, I could see the entire room and me, and all of the noise had gone. I was in complete and total silence. I was also completely alone, and realized that not even God was there. There was weird graffiti on the walls left by "baddies" in a language I could not read, but I knew it was declaring God as a fraud and mocking those that had followed Him. God was not there to comfort me, and I really felt that this was my eternity. That night seemed like an eternity.

It's not possible for me to describe the incredible anguish I felt that night, but I pray I NEVER experience anything like that again.
Posted 05/18/2011 08:41AM #1
Russ, I've had dreams before of being in "hell", which is what your dream sounds like to me.

In mine it was the sense of "hopelessness" that was the worst part. Not very pleasant!

[COLOR="Blue"]Darian Rachal[/COLOR]
Posted 05/18/2011 10:02AM #2
Russ,

I think it is rare when we are given a "glimpse" into what being separated from God is like. It is a powerful lesson. Use this new knowledge wisely as I don't think it is given often.

btw - glad everything went well. I can understand as my son has gone through several heart operations. Very glad all went well for you!