Ambrose Bierce said that a cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they should be.
I agree with him. He’s said a lot more things too.
In fact, I agree with every definition in the Devil’s Dictionary. The world suddenly seems to make sense when you redefine the ludicrously euphemistic English language and borrow a pair of cynic’s eyes to go with it.
Cynic’s eyes blame you. Cynic’s eyes belittle you. Cynic’s eyes scorn you. Cynic’s eyes look at the cynic himself, scorns, blames and belittles him. You can’t really blame the Scythians for digging out the cynic’s eyes to make him see better. It is a most normal proceeding when faced with idyllic Utopia (or its Scythian equivalent) versus suggestion of perdition. Today of course, it is most unseemly and unsophisticated to dig a cynic’s eyes out (totally passare di moda), much we’d like to. We ought to find an alternative, men. More refined and subtle, with all of 21st century’s panache!
Up the Scythians!