Hi Paul, I'm very sorry, and saddened to hear of your experiences.
I've attended quite a few star parties over the years, mostly Chicago Astrofests, where upwards near 1000 people are in attendence at these star parties.
While yes, I've encountered a "classless" few over the years, in general, the parties have always been great fun, and have been great memories that will last a lifetime.
Naturally sure, everyone gets impressed by the "Big Guns" at a star party, huge 20"-36" Dobs, Gigantic refractors, particularly AP,Tak, TEC, TMB, or the big Schmidts like Celestron C-14's, It's always a nice mix IMO to have the more "normal" scopes such as yours to view through-check out.
There's no reason at all why a Meade 125ETX won't give up very admirable views of Planets, the moon, the sun, and other objects when the seeing conditions are right.
Does this Club have a website, or yahoo group?
I'd definitely write a letter to either this, or the club president explaining how you were treated by its members, and are reluctant to be a member due to ill treatment to you, and your family by its club members.
To be honest with you, the current club I belong to here in southern New Mexico, I have felt very uncomfortable myself many times at club meetings, and star parties. I neither like being given cold shoulders, and this is not the way it is supposed to be.
Are there snobs, and big headed idiots in this hobby? Yes there are, but it usually is the exception, not the norm.
You should NEVER EVER feel out of place when requesting to view through another's scope provided you have excersized good sensibility, are not smoking or drinking-eating near, or at another member's scope. If this is the case, that other members are that rude, or worried about their instruments, they shouldn't have brought them in the first place!
Mark D'Ambrosio