Posts Made By: Darrell Fichtl

Sandy:

In Arizona you can't buy booze before 10AM on Sunday morning. In fact, one of my friends who prefers a non alcoholic beer was even refused sales before 10AM on Sunday.

As I've told clerks before, "I'd have to get drunk before I'd go to church."

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That's a silly question! They're all over in Iraq, that's where they are!

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MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.


I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. From Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.


Thank you so much for your kind help.

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It just dawned on me this morning:

Bush is a born again Christian. They are always looking for the "Rapture" and the end times.

Do you suppose he's trying to hurry things along a bit?

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http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/16/politics/main1501201.shtml

Things are getting shaky but Bush is still standing "by his man"!

How long do you think he has?

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Since we believe in Jesus' bodily resurrection from the grave after His crucifixion, then we also believe in the promise of our bodily resurrection into eternity.

I think you have a better chance at the roulette wheel in Vegas!

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US To Watch For Profiteering In Hiking Gas Prices

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7003222791

Yeah, sure they are! You do believe that don't you?

One for you; One for me. Two for you; One, two for me. Three for you; One, two, three for me. Etc, etc, etc.

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Have you seen the commercial, I believe it's for a phone service but I can't be sure, but this women is standing in here living room hawking this phone service.

In the background, in the dining room, out comes her husband doing sort of a rappers hop and waving his arms around.

After she completes her messages she turns and sees her husband and then turns back to the camera with a look of embarrassment, mortification and disgust on her face.

Now be honest, isn't that about the same way you feel about Bush?

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The November Solution: >

Who's ever in vote them out. Doesn't make any difference; Democrat or Republican. If it's a Republican incumbent vote in the Democratic and vice a versa.

Let's face the true fact. They all stink. The current set is a do nothing Senate and House. Let's get rid of as many as we can. It'll take them awhile before they know what's going on. Maybe in that time they'll do something meaningful.

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President Bush says, "I know the folks here are suffering at the gas pump... Rising gasoline prices is like... a tax, particularly on the working people and the small business people."

However, Bush vows, "if we find any price gouging it will be dealt with firmly."

Why do I have trouble believing this?

He's going to deal firmly with his oil cronies. Yeah, when pigs fly!

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