Hi Rod,
Too busy? I never had a month like this when I was working! Exhausted is more like it. My wife's dad died at 95 in New York State early in the month. My dad died at 94 in Indiana two weeks ago. Lots of travel for us. Both men had long fulfilling lives, but still it is an emotional time. I was there in Indiana with mom and dad at their home in the woods when he passed. It was peaceful, not at all unexpected at the end, and I think without much pain. Still it seemed to come quickly (even though he has been sick for months) and it was very draining for me and mom to take care of him over the last few days and hold his hand as he took his last breaths.
Then two days after dad died, a very close friend in her early 60s died tragically and shockingly. It is an emotional gut punch, I am still reeling from it.
Four days before my dad died, my son got married in Crested Butte Colorado. It was a great wedding and very pretty. My wife and the bride organized the wedding and dinner the day before. That was tiring enough, especially for my wife, even without her dad passing just before. We love our new daughter in law. They are really happy. But I had to hop a plane 12 hours after the wedding to go support my mom! Home hospice was great, but they only do so much and the routine care was just me and mom. I don't regret it at all, we are closer now than we ever could have been before.
A few days after dad passed, my wife and I flew back to Denver to look for a new place for mom to live. She wants to be independent, but Indiana is not feasible. Mom and dad lived in a house in the woods on 56 acres. Mom would be too lonely there, even though town is just a few miles away. All of her close friends have died over the years (she's 91) and my brothers live in Virginia and California. She needs and wants to be near family. Colorado is not perfect for my brothers, but it is better than any other alternative. All of the grandkids either live here, or visit to go skiing once a year or so. Denver is an easy flight from San Diego and Dulles too. We are really looking forward to having her here.
We found a really nice senior independent/assisted living community with great apartments, a nice restaurant, a bistro, a bar, a theater and all the amenities. It is like a resort! We met lots of residents who were very welcoming and many of whom are widows too. I think mom will really like it. The logistics of moving her are taking a lot of effort and planning. Also, we have three funerals in early October. More trips to Indiana and New York. Yikes!
Then, as if things were not hectic enough... we got a puppy, on Monday, a week ago.
Seriously. We had reserved him when he was born, eight weeks ago, back when we, maybe irrationally, though both our dads had several months or maybe a year to go. The thinking then was that "after the wedding" would be a great time to train a puppy because we are both recently retired and won't be traveling for a while since we were taking care of aging parents. Funny how life is.
The puppy is a standard poodle from a local breeder. He'll be about 60-70 pounds when he grows up. He is multi-colored (they call it "black phantom" coloration) and it disqualifies him from being in a dog show! Fie on those pretentious, dog-show bastards. We were
not intending on showing him in any case! We'll keep his hair cut in an even short trim all over, no frilly poodle cut for us! Poodles were bred as water dogs (they even have webbed feet) and we hope to train ours to be a strong hiker and a river-raft dog. He's wonderful, but now me and my wife are tag-teaming house training, trips to Indiana to help mom pack, a major move to Colorado, and three funerals. The pup is sleeping under my chair right now, so I have a minute to type, but don't expect me to post a lot between now and late October!
I started this post a a PM to Rod, but decided to post it generally. I'm not 100% sure why, I know that posting personal stuff is risky. But it has been therapeutic to write this down, and you guys are friends. Jim
